Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Modeling Unity in Marriage

The first institution God created was marriage and sadly it is the most broken of all relationships today. Marriage takes work, add kids into the mix AND all of the responsibilities that come with it... and it can become difficult to prioritize our spouse.

Strong families begin at the core, with the husband wife relationship.  How do you relate to each other? What example of marriage are you giving your children? Children need stability and one of the best gift we can give them is stability in our marriage.

Our children need to see us loving our spouses, prioritizing them, and respecting them.  We need to model to our kids what we expect from them SO that they in turn will love their family, respect them and prioritize them.

For the sake of their relationship with their family now and their future spouse and kids.

Let's be real though, our spouses sometimes get our leftovers.  My husband and I are currently working on this because we have been guilty of putting other priorities first.  Kids, activities, housework, church, etc, etc, etc... leaves us no time for each other. Lately, we try to get away for an hour or so alone, for a cup of coffee (trying to make it weekly :)).  Its our time to reconnect and make it all about each other.  We call it our "day dates" and it makes a huge difference!  It all goes back to communication, doesn't it?

Unity in our marriage also shows the children that we (their parents) are on the same page.  Kids can smell an opportunity to manipulate and put parents at odds with each other in order to get their way.

In our home we have rules about this.  I will never go against my husbands decision or vice versa in front of the kids.  If we happen to disagree then we will discuss it...alone....not in front of the kids!

There have been many times that one of us has made a decision that has later on been changed, because after discussing it, one of us has seen a different perspective.  That's ok,  it shows the kids a healthy process of making decisions together.

Then there's also "the look." Do you have one?  Its that look you give each other when you don't agree but don't want to say it out loud.  In our house, my husband and I have full conversations with the look!  It works for us!

But life isn't always black and white.  Sometimes there are gray areas and somewhere along the line one of us needs to compromise. Learn to agree to disagree and respect each others decision. 

Mark 3:25 says,
If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

We refer back to God to help us make the decisions that are right for our family. One area we don't compromise,  our family values.  Its not about "me verses you"  but what's best for the greater good of our family.

How do you model unity in your marriage?

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